I was drinking a half a 12 pack of Dr Pepper every single day and I struggled. I struggled with being a good mom to my kids. I struggled keeping my house clean. I struggled with my husband. I struggled with not biting peoples heads off especially my sweet little spirits that I love, cherish and adore. I felt tired and alone and like everything and everyone was out to get me. I was battling terribly with depression and anxiety. I felt like I was in this downward cycle of stress and pain that I would never get out of.
And one day I decided that I was sick of it. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to feel good about myself. I wanted to be the fun, loving, sweet mommy and wife that I had always dreamed of being. But, how do I get there?. I spent weeks looking into depression and anxiety and pain and kept coming back to the #1 thing on there of exercise. Exercise, Exercise, Exercise. I spent some time thinking about the happiest times in my life and thought about how when I exercised I felt good. I wasn't so angry, I wasn't so sad, and I felt better about myself. And I started changing.
It wasn't an overnight thing. I spent days at the gym and then days when I couldn't get myself near one. I had to constantly talk myself into this or that or I really can't have that Dr. Pepper right now. I had to push myself to eat that salad. I would try to justify that twinkie or that bowl of ice cream. And then I found this amazing thing called myfitness pal. It's a free app that takes in your current lifestyle, weight and height and gives you the amount of calories that you are supposed to be eating every single day. I have used it every day since. It has been such a help because I can be accountable in an electronic way and I don't have to crunch those calories myself! It will even count for me how many calories I have burned doing a boot camp class or walking around the block. It has been my weight loss lifesaver! I really don't think that I would be half as successful without it. I have been eating overall pretty healthy, but I will admit, that I haven't denied myself anything that I have wanted either. If I wanted a Dr. Pepper, I have had one, and then logged it and tried to figure out how I could counteract the calories. Is walking for an hour worth it? Some days I will fully say it is. I have also started taking these amazing vitamins called Life Long Vitality from doTERRA. They have been amazing. I feel so much better on the days that I take them, and crappy on the days that I don't. I also find that I have less highs and lows with my depression. I have more energy, I can think straight for the first time since having my last baby (I now have 4) and I don't feel sluggish.
The heaviest I have ever been is 247. I am planning on keeping it that way. I have no desire to ever be that weight again. I don't plan on being one of those moms that can't do anything with their kids ever. I want to be able to run marathons and give my children someone to be proud of and want to look up to. I WANT TO BE HEALTHY!
Below is my picture of my heaviest weight. I am putting it up here for the world to see so that I may stay accountable for myself and become the woman that I want to be!!
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